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I started this blog as an expression of my cooking 'ability' but also I wanted to express my emotions freely and not be judged accordingly. But unfortunately, or fortunately many of my friends read this so I don't want to scare anyone by writing anything weird or personal. Is that a healthy thing? I suppose a blog is a personal statement of one's thoughts and emotional wellbeing but at the same time, it soon becomes public knowledge as more and more people begin to read and get to know you as a person. I think for the longest time, I have managed to keep my emotions in check for the most part and have written about general items as not to give out too much of my 'soul'... However, even though I wish this to be a personal statement, it's nice to hear back from people via their comments to know that I am not alone in my journey through life.

So it is a conflict.. Conflict of my emotions and I don't know which is a better thing? To keep my emotions on the line and expect the evitable hurt and judgement or just keep my emotions in check and harden myself so I don't get scarred for life.

Now, I think I am getting personal... "It's just a blog" I hear you say.. but it really isn't.. It is a public diary for view and ridicule. There are times I just want to scream and express myself and my 'true' emotions, but I don't want them coming back to me in anger... does that make sense? I don't want to be judged on my emotional outbursts, surely we are allowed to have them, but at the same time, I do seek advice and value comments...

For example, when things in my personal life seem to be falling by the wayside, I don't want people (knowing our Lankan ability to gossip and exaggerate stories beyond recognition) who read this blog to go and tell so-and-so and so-and-so and I know I would end up in a fix...

What a dilemma?? Any ideas on how solve this issue that doesn't make me start up an annoymous blog :D

Chewy Chocolate Chip Oatmeal-Raisin Cookies

Ok, its very rare that I make healthy foods, but here i am :) Found this recipe on delish.com and it came out quite nice and easy to make. Plus, it has chocolate and it is healthy for you, so it's a winner all around :)

Mix 120g of butter with 3/4 cups of sugar (the recipe says to add another 1/2 cup of sugar, but this is really not necessary). Add 2 egg whites, 1 entire egg and 2 tsp of vanilla. For this, use a electric mixer.

Then sieve in 2 cups of flour, 1 cup of oats, your chocolate chips, and raisins (optional). Mix well with your wooden spoon.

Then add teaspoonfuls on a greased tray, put in your oven at 190C for 10-12 min.

Election Day

So today is the day many Lankans having been waiting for, for quite some time. An election without war, to be determined by the people for the people. At least, theoretically. After 30 years of civil unrest, we are finally determining who will run this country. Although there are quite a few candidates on the ballot paper, there are only two people under extreme scrutiny. The current president and the General.

I am not going to get into a complete political debate about who is good, and who I would vote for, and who has some questionable ethics etc. This blog is not meant to be a political one.. However, my humble wish is that who ever comes into power should govern this country with a gentle fist and guide it to success. Maybe I am naive, but being around this political atmosphere for some time now, makes me quite cynical.

I am grateful for the ending of the war. I can remember days of curfews, frantic phone calls to relatives to see if they were ok, conversations about people who have died, schools being closed, endless checkpoints and checking of vehicles. I am thankful that it is over. Now it is time to rebuild this nation.

Historically, we have been a great nation. We were one of the first countries to engage in international diplomacy, we had an amazing history, our people were capable of amazing technological innovation. But unfortunately, this was in the past. Now, we seem to be famous for insane politicans, the highest suicide rates in the world and alcoholism. Not exactly high hopes.

There is so much hope this time around, you can practically feel it on your skin in the polling booths. It is on the lips and in the minds of the people walking by. All this country needs is a stable platform to stand on, and we can leap forward.

Maybe this election will serve as a wake up call to who ever ends up winning.. as the saying goes, "You can fool some people sometimes but you can't fool all the people all the time". People ARE a force to be a reckoned with, even in Sri Lanka. Technology also plays a big part in this. From the many blogs online, to the advertisements on YouTube and Facebook, even the endless text messages from annoymous numbers, the people are watching and reading and educating themselves on the candidates. More so than before. Which is always a good thing. People want to know about the issues. You may think I am talking as a Colombian, but speaking to different people working in my office, so many people are actually questioning what is actually going and investigating and forming opinions. It is so refreshing to see this.

So at the end of the day, for me, it doesn't matter who wins, as long as Sri Lanka ends up triumphant at the end of the day.

Watermelon Salad

Again, its been a while since I have cooked but I realized last night how much I miss the chaos and entertainment I get from cooking :-) I had a small dinner for some family members last night, and glad to say it went off without much of a problem.

watermelon salad with feta cheese. This recipe I stole from Nigella Lawson. I do love her... This again, is so simple and so refreshing.

First, chop some onions and soak in lime/lemon juice. This gets rid of the strong flavors and smells. Then cube your watermelon. I used an entire fruit as I had 10 people over last night but you can use as much as you would like. Add some similar sized cubes of feta cheese. Add some chopped parsley and mint leaves. Nigella always recommends you cut the herbs with a scissor directly over the bowl instead of a knife because all the delicious flavors end up on your chopping board instead of your dish. Very true! Then add the onions with the lime/lemon juice and splash some olive oil and you are done!! You can add some black olives as a nice colorful option but it is not necessary.. Its really yummy and you should serve cold so it is more refreshing...

Hello... Is it me you're looking for...

So goes the song... And I ask you, do I strike you as a person with nothing to do? Other than taking care of Sonny boy, Hubby and trying to organize things in my house, plus working at the store and my other work... Honestly, I tell you.. I think I am getting ahead of myself..

Recently, I have been getting calls from not one, but TWO people.. not unusual, I hear you say.. but these are people I absolutely, completely, truly do not know... and why? I have no idea.. apparently, one of them got my number off another friend - again, someone I don't know.. and the newest one who decides to call me now, on the day I am feeling my poopiest, got his number from the former friend.. what the hell? I am in my late 20s, happily married(for the most part, isn't everyone), and a working mother.. I am not some jobless girl, looking for a soulmate via phonecall. Its not exactly appealing.. To add to it, he thinks I am Indian.. I guess its the name, but come on people.. if you don't know me, please don't expect me to be your best friend overnight..

The first guy constantly messages me - at 5am, no less and tells me not only to have a good day (woohoo!) but also hopes our friendship will continue to grow... errr what part of married do you not get.. FYI - I did tell him I was married and he should get some friends who he can deal with, and not bother me.. maybe he thinks I am playing hard to get??

Seriously, are youth today so bored with their own selves, they need to bother others? I mean, there's endless entertainment from Internet, to Playstation, to actual interaction with other people...what do these guys need to fulfill?

For those who know me, know I am a decent girl.. I am a loyal friend, and can be quite friendly.. but I don't take too kindly to people who think this is fun.. I have other things to do than sit on the phone with random people I don't know...

Sometimes I feel sorry for these two people... even the first guy admitted he has no friends.. well with manners like this, I don't doubt it for a second.. If they call again, I swear I will threaten them with the Police.. wait, I think that only works on Sonny boy.. hmmm

But seriously folks, is this a dilemma for most 'young' people? Maybe I've grown up, or moved on past this stage of my life, but is anonymous calls really the way to go?

Necesary Evil

Its like an unwritten Murphy's Law - if you are working hard on a presentation, the computer will inevitably shut down without explanation. This will happen especially when you forget to save your work. Why does this always happen?

One of my resolutions that I forgot to add was to work harder at my mum's company. So today, I sat down to do this presenation which is long-overdue. I actually had all my data ready, and all the information and pictures nicely laid out on the Powerpoint and right at that moment, instead of seeing my nice shiny document, I see a blank black screen. Not exactly the screen I was looking forward to seeing... WHY WHY WHY!!!

Now, at a totally different computer which seems to work (for the moment), I DON'T HAVE POWER POINT!! UGH UGH... maybe I am not computer literate..

Reflections

There are some days your thoughts suddenly flash back to your past and memories that were buried under the surface come up quite unexpectedly. Late Christmas evening was one of those evenings. Watching my son running around, opening presents and messing around with the Christmas decorations on the tree made me think how fast the years fly by. Highschool, college all seems like a lifetime ago.

I had my first boyfriend at 14, got my heart broken many many times by people I thought cared about me. Managed to struggle through college, but looking back at my schooling years, I should have not listened to others who doubted me. But when you are in that situation, you cannot help but doubt yourself. Unfortunately, I was one of those people who was not considered as 'cool' as I could have been, and as a result, if I did anything 'cool', most people would have said, "How could you have done that, you are not cool enough". Honestly, who judges coolness... Most of those people have ended up worse off than me, and I am the stronger for it today.. I had very low self-confidence back then and I think, being a mum now and forcing myself to be stronger is helping me on the road to being a more developed (?) person..

Some say reflecting is a bad thing, we must look forward to the upcoming year. Reflecting is not necessarily bad, the things we did, the mistakes we made, along with the decisions we have done in the past all make up the person we are today. I know I have done some insane things in the past and now, looking back, its shaped me into the person I am now. For better or for worse.

Looking forward to the New Year comes inevitably the Resolutions - the promises you make to yourself, knowing you will break them by February. But it's always fun to challenge yourself and see where you end up with.

My Resolutions -
1. Somehow stick to my exercise classes, servants or no nanny... Since of late, I am nanny-less and completely 24/7 on Sonny boy.. Poor kid, he has to deal with me all day long. But he seems to enjoy it for some reason so that's great.. But its been my excuse not to go to classes.. which is NOT good..

2. Along with the exercise classes, I have to loose weight. My goal is 15kg by June next year, when my birthday rolls around. Easier said than done. Also, reduce amounts of sugar consumed, whether it is in tea/coffee or yummy cakes.. :-(

3. Be more pro-active in the shop and help my mum out more. I know I give her grief and God only knows how much grief I get from her, but I think it would be good for everyone.

4. Stop biting my nails, this is a horrible habit from childhood and it never seems to go away.

5. Get my hair relaxed - hehe it sounds so weird saying that. Not only is my mind not relaxed but I have to get my hair relaxed too...

6. Cook more, and get some more good cook books.. I love cooking, as anyone knows reading the blog but I should find some more healthy constructive ones and try out..

7. Somehow get to Toastmasters and learn how to give a proper speech without stammering or feeling like a total tool.. Does anyone know of a good class?

8. Stop making resolutions I cannot keep to :-)

So here's to all of you, have a Happy New Year! 2009 wasn't too good for anyone so lets hope 2010 will be better!!