Reflections

There are some days your thoughts suddenly flash back to your past and memories that were buried under the surface come up quite unexpectedly. Late Christmas evening was one of those evenings. Watching my son running around, opening presents and messing around with the Christmas decorations on the tree made me think how fast the years fly by. Highschool, college all seems like a lifetime ago.

I had my first boyfriend at 14, got my heart broken many many times by people I thought cared about me. Managed to struggle through college, but looking back at my schooling years, I should have not listened to others who doubted me. But when you are in that situation, you cannot help but doubt yourself. Unfortunately, I was one of those people who was not considered as 'cool' as I could have been, and as a result, if I did anything 'cool', most people would have said, "How could you have done that, you are not cool enough". Honestly, who judges coolness... Most of those people have ended up worse off than me, and I am the stronger for it today.. I had very low self-confidence back then and I think, being a mum now and forcing myself to be stronger is helping me on the road to being a more developed (?) person..

Some say reflecting is a bad thing, we must look forward to the upcoming year. Reflecting is not necessarily bad, the things we did, the mistakes we made, along with the decisions we have done in the past all make up the person we are today. I know I have done some insane things in the past and now, looking back, its shaped me into the person I am now. For better or for worse.

Looking forward to the New Year comes inevitably the Resolutions - the promises you make to yourself, knowing you will break them by February. But it's always fun to challenge yourself and see where you end up with.

My Resolutions -
1. Somehow stick to my exercise classes, servants or no nanny... Since of late, I am nanny-less and completely 24/7 on Sonny boy.. Poor kid, he has to deal with me all day long. But he seems to enjoy it for some reason so that's great.. But its been my excuse not to go to classes.. which is NOT good..

2. Along with the exercise classes, I have to loose weight. My goal is 15kg by June next year, when my birthday rolls around. Easier said than done. Also, reduce amounts of sugar consumed, whether it is in tea/coffee or yummy cakes.. :-(

3. Be more pro-active in the shop and help my mum out more. I know I give her grief and God only knows how much grief I get from her, but I think it would be good for everyone.

4. Stop biting my nails, this is a horrible habit from childhood and it never seems to go away.

5. Get my hair relaxed - hehe it sounds so weird saying that. Not only is my mind not relaxed but I have to get my hair relaxed too...

6. Cook more, and get some more good cook books.. I love cooking, as anyone knows reading the blog but I should find some more healthy constructive ones and try out..

7. Somehow get to Toastmasters and learn how to give a proper speech without stammering or feeling like a total tool.. Does anyone know of a good class?

8. Stop making resolutions I cannot keep to :-)

So here's to all of you, have a Happy New Year! 2009 wasn't too good for anyone so lets hope 2010 will be better!!